The Structure That Pulled Us from the Heart

(And Why We’re Finding Our Way Back)

There was a time—not so long ago—when family was the sun, and everything else—work, dreams, even healing—revolved around it. You can still see this in many first-generation immigrant families. There’s a deep sense of unity, devotion, and moving as one.

In those households, love isn’t a performance—it’s the fabric. Elders are honored. Children are nurtured. There’s laughter around shared meals, late-night talks, and a willingness to stay together through the hard moments.

But somewhere along the line, the structure shifted.

Modern culture began whispering:

“Leave your roots.”

“Go chase your dream, no matter how far it takes you from home.”

“Reinvent yourself. Speak a new language. Make your mark.”

And so we did.

Sometimes it felt like freedom. But in the process, something hollowed out.

From Heart-Centered to Ego-Driven

In many modern families, love became more distant. Not because anyone wanted it to—but because the world started rewarding other things:

• Achievement.

• Independence.

• Productivity.

• Reinvention.

We stopped seeing our parents as wise. We saw them as outdated.

We stopped valuing our siblings’ nearness. We called it codependence.

Even in relationships, we began searching for signs of status, not softness—

the hot wife, the successful husband, the perfectly curated partner.

We didn’t mean to stop loving from the heart.

But when you pull love out of the center, it slowly forgets how to guide.

This Isn’t a Shame Piece. It’s a Wake-Up Call.

It’s not your fault. The system was designed this way.

But that also means—it can be redesigned.

We’re in a moment now where so many are longing to return:

• To belonging instead of branding.

• To connection instead of climbing.

• To true care instead of performative success.

We’re remembering that family doesn’t mean sacrificing your dreams.

It means rooting your dreams in love—so they don’t float away and leave you empty.

You Might Be the First to Remember

And if you are—take heart.

You’re not meant to fix everything alone.

But you are meant to begin.

Let your love be radical. Let your loyalty be sacred.

Let your dream be centered in heart, not escape.

And as you live that truth, others will remember it, too.